Monday, 4 December 2006

Karaoke

I think nothing says you're 'asian' more than Karaoke :P Its a pastime we've grown to love (or hate)!

A few years back, I had the pleasure of staying with my grandma who lived opposite a karaoke bar. I ate, slept, drank, and literally LIVED karaoke for a whole month. Oooh the pain! the pain! Make it go away!

Now sometimes the singers were really good. But most of the times I'm wrestling with my brother to get to the rat poison - we'd rather kill ourselves than listen to another round of 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet *shudder*

Hong Kong is serious about Karaoke. They have hotel-like buildings specifically for Karaoke

So from this, I've constructed a Do's & Dont's list to guide karaoke goers. No one should have to suffer the ill consequences of bad karaoke :P
  1. DON'T hog the microphone! We didn't come to karaoke just to watch and hear you sing.
  2. DO encourage group singing by picking songs that everyone can enjoy.
  3. DON'T play the same song over and over and over and over and over again. We don't think it gets better with each try.
  4. DO sing the songs in time. Holding a high note can be impressive, but sending us to a time warp by singing a few words behind the tune can be maddening.
  5. DON'T pick songs just because you recognise a song (or its chorus). No one thinks you're any more special because you know lots of songs in the songbook.
  6. DO invite heaps of people. The more the merrier!
  7. DON'T make fun of guys singing karaoke. It takes REAL balls to grab a mic and sing in public. Those who just sit around making fun of people have no balls at all (or have very very small ones).
  8. DO showcase your talent. If you sound good in the shower - then sing!
  9. DO join in the singing - even if you don't have the mic. I'm sure everyone could do with backup singers.
  10. DON'T laugh when someone sings out of tune. If everyone had a choice, I'm sure we'd all be Celine Dion's and Barry White's. You can laugh about them later when they've gone home.
  11. DON'T pick depressing after depressing after depressing songs.
  12. DO applaud fellow singers, even if they sounded like cats being skinned. Just think of it as applauding their courage to sing in public.
  13. DON'T kiss / lick / suck the microphone.
  14. DON'T pick your nose in a KTV bar. Actually, this is a general thing you shouldn't do in public.
  15. DON'T pick songs that you can't sing. Just because you can do Mariah Carey's hand motions doesn't mean you can sing 8 octaves.
  16. DON'T stab someone just because they beat your karaoke score.
  17. DO try 'power-oke'. Sing songs up to the end of the first chorus then move on to the next song. This lets you go through lotsa songs and keeps things happening (rather than being bored with the whole song).
  18. Do have some alcohol. This calms the nerves when performing in public AND it makes everyone's singing sound SOOO much better :)
  19. DO leave a karaoke place when you're tired and have no songs left in you. Singing unfamiliar songs will not revive your karaoke powers (did you have any to begin with?) :P
  20. DON'T take it seriously. Its not idol.

3 comments:

FLip said...

SING YOUR HEART OUT!!!! WILL

You're my IDOL..bwahahahahhahah

Will said...

enrique iglesias eat your heart out.
bwahahaha

Talamasca said...

To sum it all up, JUST SING YOUR BLOODY HEART OUT, DAMN IT! ;-p