Thursday, 21 September 2006

Man Rules #16

Short Talk:
Waited on a line of greens and blues. Just to be the next to be with you

This was posted on my old blog :

At a family dinner, one can happily point out to Auntie that a piece of green vegetable is stuck between her teeth. She will happily pick at it with her red polished fingernails leaving you cringing and asking why you ever mentioned it. Uncle doesn’t take offence when you tell him he looks like hes been sniffing spaghetti with his saucy collection stuck on his moustache. You can tell family anything.

A bit different when you’re with a group of work colleagues. Here you are in a 5-star restaurant, the company is paying for dinner. Everyone’s all nicely dressed up. Everything looks exquisite and expensive. Piano playing on the background. The chardonnay has fuelled the chatter in the function room. The boss, spots you two table away and decide to come over for some idle chitchat. He walks over with a glass of wine and calls out your name. You look up. There it is.

Custard in its most awkward form.

A piece of custard has happily nestled its way on your boss's nose hair. He greets you with a smile and gives you a firm handshake. You wish you shook his hand harder to dislodge the yellow creamery stuck on the nasal orifice. The wine has numbed your boss's senses - and you gulp down your glass in hope that this too will numb yours. You can't take your eyes off it. It plays hide and seek with you in rhythm with your boss's breathing. Is it going to fall out or get sucked in? Oh no! What if he chokes to death? Would that go into his brain and give him a custardy stoke? Or even worse, what if his exhalation dislodges the yellow pudding and projects it to the target directly in front?

*Side Step*

A polite thing to do would be to make 'suggestive' gestures around the nose. Hopefully they are smart enough to notice what you’re trying to say. But in most cases, if they were numb enough not to notice, they are numb enough not to respond to your sign language. So I say - let them look funny. Who gave them the right to make you feel uncomfortable! I don't care if there’s custard or chives or curly black hairs stuck on their faces or clothes. You're forever gonna remember your boss as the custard nose man. Why not share the joke with everyone else? Share the wealth I always say.

Do to others what you want done to you. If this ever happens to me - custard in my nose. Leave me be. If it’s there - it’s there for a reason.
I’m starting a trend.

Man Rule #16 - Though shall not worry about another man's appearance because a real man only looks at women.

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