Eve of being Ancient

Let me start this post with a question.

 

Which of these three is most appealing?

 

1) Novelty Rubber Chicken

2) 29-Year old version of me

3) half eaten ham and cheese croissants

 

If you found that selection rather weird, then you just got an insight of what goes inside my wonderful head.  

A universe filled with rubber chickens and ham and cheese croissant.

 

Now if you're patient enough to read to this part, then you might be patient enough to endure the rest of my rantings about turning a year older.

 

And no, this is not some flagrant post to tell people what I want for my birthday (*wink *wink). I wouldn't dare to do such a thing.

 

In a few weeks, I'll be coming to terms with turning 29. 

 

Its not so bad really.  Probably not as bad as having both digits change when you turn 30.

 

Nevertheless, for me, an age increment is an unavoidable reminder that I should be getting wiser (like Gandalf?) and more mature like... Parmesan cheese? Because when I was a kid, that was what separated 'us' kids and 'them' older folks.

 

But I don't feel I'm getting anywhere near being a Parmesan Gandalf.

 

And I MIGHT be in fact speedily going the opposite direction and clinging on to childish things like video games, my hentai animes and the green sausage pillow I cuddle to at night.

 

I guess what I'm really asking is, should something be happening when you turn a year older? Is there a milestone or height/weight requirement that needs to be satisfied before you can pass GO and collect $200?

 

Coz if there is, then someone forgot to send me the memo.

Alright.. waaaay too much Pepsi Max for me.

Drawn

Doodles

What is it about us and doodling stuff?

 

I sat through a grueling three hour meeting today. 

During the meeting, I got a glimpse of what the guy next to me was doing.  

He was doodling!  He first drew a square.... which turned to 3D box... which then became the part of a sphere.  It all became very complex in the end.  Almost an optical illusion!

I turned to the other guy next to me and he was also doodling!   I think he was filling the holes in the letters P's, D's and O's of the meeting agenda.

 

And it wasn't just the listeners drawing stuff.  The meeting chairperson was scribbling his pen over and over arrows and ticks he's drawn on the minutes (which makes it look like he's writing notes fbut in fact he's just doodling some more!)

 

By the end of the meeting, everyone got little pictures tattooed all over their notes.

 

And when I got back to my desk, I noticed the scrap pad next to my phone.  I've drawn stars and circles and blobs and such whilst talking on the phone!

I don't know why we do this. I thought we grow out of doodling from the files and textbook scribbles in high school!  

I guess not.

 

****************

Graphic novels turned movie

Saw Watchmen the other day. 

 

I wasn't impressed.  

It was a meh movie.  Hardly worth the Greater Union ticket vouchers we used up.   Should have saved it for the Wolverine movie.

 

Dr Manhattan has many talents

I heard you really have to be clued-in on the graphic novel to appreciate the movie.

 

I dunno. I just couldn't get excited watching it (well... except may in one scene).

 

****************

Manga

Im currently very very very very very hooked watching Skip Beat.

 

I think its kinda geared toward girly teens - BUT I DON'T CARE!! I've done enough girly stuff recently so this doesn't' matter!

 

I can't wait to see how Kyoko performs in her next acting gig.  

And the over the top comedy is very funny.  

I haven't been hooked like this since the Sakura and Sasori battle in Naruto Shippuden or the races in Initial D.

Actually, I got impatient waiting for each episode to come out and be translated from Japan that I've started reading the manga.  

But yes, the anime is still heaps better.

I hope this series never ends!

Doc Err Antenna

1) Nintendo Wii Fit
2) September - Cry for You
3) Guitar Hero - Aerosmith

I haven't seen my fiancee for a week now...
.. and yet we live together
Just eleven more years

- Doctor training to be surgeon

Both my brothers are doctors.

They come in very handy when you need medical advice in a jiffy (and can't be bothered googling for answers).

But if ask either of them if they would have picked another job, now knowing what its like to be a doctor, they would have to think about it for a while.

Salary is pathetic, the hours are long and the patients are always sick! Don't even get them started on the nurses (btw sexy nurses are mythical creatures like unicorns).

"But it must be nice having that doctor prefix?" I asked my brother.
"You can have my prefix if you want. I just want some sleep"

**********

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

I have qualms with this saying. One, why are people allowed to make mistakes and everyone are just to 'accept' it. That's a bit unfair. I think I haven't reached my quota of mistakes yet.

Two, to forgive is freaking hard!

**********

I had a problem getting the Wii to communicate with my wireless router. Blame it on the concrete walls and distance.

Lucky for me I stumbled on this website!

Do it yourself antenna!!

I surfed the pages and made myself a 2.4GHz directional antenna.

I had to remove the logo they put coz it was uncool

Yes, I know - you're thinking. OMGWTFBBQ!!! Mega g33koidness!!!

My green directional antenna!! hehehe

But there was a problem and I fixed it.
And it didn't cost me anything (only a bit of time)

If only life problems were as straight forward.

What the world needs is

3Willings
1) God of War 2
2) BBQ Ribs
3) Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier

1) A better way to power up electronic gizmos - I have a separate electrical adaptor for my toothbrush, mp3 player, my shaver, my mobile, my DS, my camera. Why do I need to carry so many different cable thingymajiggies when I'm traveling? Yeah, I know I don't need an electric toothbrush, but how else am I going to keep my grillz clean?


2) A high-school teeny boppy show - when I turn on the TV there's only shows like Desperate Housewives and Ugly Betty. Young people don't want to idolise pruning 30-something dinosaurs. We need 16 year old leads living the life like Britney and Paris. How else are kids to learn about promiscuity, backstabbing and the finer things in life? Somebody think of the kids and bring out a new high-school teeny boppy show.


3) A decent male RnB artist. Someone like Brian McKnights or R Kelly (before he went peado). Or even a group! Where's the Boys 2 Men of the 2000's? Where are the decent ballads? We really need to stop the tidal wave of stupid stupid stupid stupid songs.


4) Some decent heart-clogging fast food. Free of this 'fat free - healthy choice' nonsense. People rally about freedom of speech and freedom of choice all the time. People want their rights to eat very unhealthy fast food! The cows and chickens have died for us - least we can do is eat their fat and skins to honor their sacrifice.


5) Interactive clothes. Like hypercolour tshirts. I'm sure we can stich flashing LEDs to t-shirts by now. We need some really cheesy clothes so that our aunties have something to give us on our birthdays.


6) Another party dance - like the YMCA, Chicken dance and Macarena. No, not the Soulja boy dance, thats too ghetto. We need something the whole family can enjoy. What are we going to dance in weddings then?

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

I was wondering what I'd look like if I lost all my hair.

Damn!

No wonder I'm drinking!

Crying

3Willings

1) Meatballs from Ikea
2) Fragma - Tocas Miracle (Inpetto Mix)
3) Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

A Moment to Remember: Watch with tissues (for your girlfriend)

I must be doing something very wrong these past few days.

It seems that every time I see my girlfriend she ends up crying.

It's not that I try to hurt her or anything.

(Well.. maybe that one time last monday when I ACCIDENTALLY threw a water bomb at full pelt at her face.

We were playing a game okay!
It was purely accidental. Thankfully the swelling went down)

Or maybe she's going through an emotional period (no pun intended :P) .

I guess girls and crying just go hand in hand.

A week ago at the end of Miss Saigon I found myself surround by lots and lots of females with the water works on. I've never experienced synchronised mass crying before. It was very weird.

But secretly, I think I like it when a girl cries.

Not the same way Enrique likes it.
Or maybe yes to that too.

But what I mean, is when a girl cries during a sad movie or how happy they are. Its such a girly thing to do, its cute.

Now I've met 'big girls don't cry' girls before and they kinda off putting. Usually they're the sarcastic type. Don't like them.

I feel threatened by them.

Probably 'coz they have more facial hair than me.

2008 Soy MyFacester & the new PC

3 Willings

1) Four Seasons BBQ - Barrack Street
2) Naruto Shippuden
3) Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

G-MyFacester

My brother, in all of his forgetful glory, has mixed up the names of social networking sites and has come up with a great new idea.

Introducing - G-MyFacester (pronounce - Gee, Mai feys-stir)

It combines Gmail, MySpace, Facebook and Friendster into an all-in-one multi-facet social networking page.

It checks everyone's account and with keeps in touch of ALL your friends in ALL of their networking sites. Pretty cool huh.

I’m sure someone's eventually going to do it.

But yeah, you heard about it here first :)

Soy Capitan

I went pale last night when I discovered the bottle of soy sauce in the back of my car spilled all over the boot.

Luckily I had a plastic boot liner so the damage was minimal.
But I still spent an hour or so scrubbing the back trying to get rid of the soy smell.

No wonder I've been thinking chicken rice the whole day.This pic has nothing to do with this post. But I think its amusing. Taken from here.

2008 Year of the Travel

A lot of the people I know are travelling next year. Travel bugs everywhere! Woot! Wooot!
FTW!!

And with the local budget airlines giving away cheap tickets, there's really no excuse to not have a holiday.

Merry Vista.

My parents were very surprised last night when they walked into their room to find a brand spanking new desktop computer!

Its sooo sexy.

It’s black with silver frames. It’s got so many USB ports and blue LED thingy jiggys. Plus it had big widescreen LCD to watch Jumong on.

Damn s3xy!!

My mom was almost in tears.
Dad's very happy too. He couldn't wait to start surfing!

For years they've been using the pass-me down computers (stripped of the memory modules because I kept those for meself..)

That’s sounds really mean, but they weren't really THAT into computers and teh intraweb. We'll.. that’s how I justified giving them turtle PCs anyhows.

When their turtle PC went up in smokes (literally), they needed a new computer. Dad was asking about a new one, but I told him I could get him another old box from someone I knew.

There was this sad expression on his face. But he knew I just wanted to save some money and agreed.

:(

*light bulb*

:P

So my parents are now the happy owners of a dual core system. Who would have thought they'd own the most testically charged PC in the house.

I just hope I don't find any YouTube videos of them.

Trip

ReadyChecked the oil, checked the tire pressure.
I've even vacuumed the floor mats.

The car has a tankful of 98 octane for efficiently smooth traveling.

I've got my street directories and my new handy-dandy navigation system
all charged up.

Water, Red-Bull, mints and music.

******
Set
When you have your mind set on accomplishing something, it becomes exactly that - set on one thing.

It focuses all your efforts and concentrates it in achieving your objective.

But its also that same focus that tunnel-visions and blinds you of logic and reasoning.

It's an annoying trade-off, but that's just how it is.

Take watching animes or a TV series for example. When I'm set on finishing a series, then I will do it.

It might reduce my sleeping time to four hours a day, but I do end up following it through.
I do.

There might be some other way, but this seems to work for me.

And it's not because I don't see what everyone else is saying. (I already have a domineering subconscious, so I criticise myself quite alotta).

This is just my way of getting things done.

******
Go

My friend and I were trying to make sense of women and shopping.

We joked that surely 10 pairs is more than enough for any woman and that no sane person would need more.

If you switch to 'man-universe' and you talk about cars, surely a Kia Rio is good enough to get you from point A to B. You don't need turbo-charged, direct injected, variable-sequential-valve timing with 350kw of raw engine power!

"Everyone's journey is different" quotes the new campaign for the Ford Fiesta and Focus. "The only thing we have in common, is that were all different".

I quite like the ad.

It makes sense coz I can't see my mom driving a 6-speed 166kw, turbo-charged XR5 to get to work. Nor will you find me happily trotting in a 3-door parking cart (unless its this).

So maybe that's the thought for today (in a metaphorical sense of course) - where are you going? And how are you getting there.

Mayfly

The common mayfly has a life expectancy of just one day. But is he miserable about it? Not one bit. He fills his day with the things he loves. He soars. He swoops. He savours every moment. Maybe there’s a lesson in this for us longer living creatures. Just think. If we embrace life like a mayfly, what a life that would be! Make the most of now.

-Vodafone Campaign

Wouldn't it be nice to embrace life like a mayfly? To enjoy and appreciate everything. Not because you're going to lose it or die or disappear, but because everything is just as precious whether you go or not.

Work greetings

So you're sitting at home watching TV. Mountain dew commercial
have made you increasingly uncomfortable.
And finally realise you need to pee.

So you get up and make your way to the toilet.

On your way, you see your brother.

You walk on.

No need to greet him. No waving or smiling.

Just keep on walking, keep on walking.

But you see, you can't do that at the work.

Nope.

Not at all.

At work, everytime you see someone in the hallway you need to greet them.

Every man, woman, child you know, you must greet. Boss or colleague or subordinate.

You have to do it.

Otherwise you're rude.
Or unsociable.
Or indifferent.

You can use 'good morning or `mornin`, hi! or g`day'.

Greeting is must.

And I'm down with that. That's cool.

We're all just trying to maintain a nicey-nicey working environment so were all very polite and kind to everyone.

But things go weird when you've just seen one workmate and then two minutes later you see them again in the hallway.

You can't say "good morning or hi!" again.

You're only allowed to greet them once a day! You'll overdose them with greetings if say good morning again!

What I've seen some people do to get around this awkwardness is to do body languages like winking or raising eyebrows or pouting their lips and nodding upwards?! as their pseudo-greeting-i-need-to-rush-to-the-toilet-gesture.

Its just as weird and awkward.

The Tale of the Two Shoppers

Shopper One

C is what I call an ultra power shopper.

The type that will go to a department store and try and bargain 50 cents off the $2.00 Timtam sale. She will make every last cent count when she shops.

I mean its good that she's trying to save. But sometimes, she gets so caught up in trying to save, her honesty becomes.... questionable.

C bought a lamp from Target. She put on a desk at her house and was pleased with it. Unfortunately, for some clumsy reason, the lamp ended on the floor shattered to pieces.

C took the broken lamp and her receipt and returned it to Target. The reason was 'It was broken when I got home'.

Its okay to do this she says.

'Big department stores set a budget for these kinds of things - so really, no one gets hurt'.


Shopper Two

I was packing the grocery into the car. M was looking through the shopping receipt. He looked confused.

"They forgot to include the rug."
"Thats good then! Free rug! :P "
"No... They forgot to charge us for the rug.. I have to go back.."
"What?!! Why are you going back?! It was their mistake - so you get a free rug for their mistake!"
"But its not honest.."
"What?! Its like Mcdonalds - if you get free nuggets - you get free nuggets. You don't return free nuggets!"
"I'm going back... its not right.."
"??!!!"
"Will... the money you take away from these stores they get back by jacking up prices. I'm going back to pay for the rug."

The other extreme. Super honest citizen.

Anyways, the department store appreciated M's honesty, but corrected him that we've paid for the rug already.

It was just called "Sale item #453" rather than rug.

Third Time Lucky

You know when you say you're going out fishing I don't actually expect you to catch anything

:P

I've finally done it!!!

The capture of a monster! It took five mintues of intense reeling in and nearly broke my rod in half.

Watta fish!

Mission accomplished!!

And even though I paid $10 for bait, it was well worth it. :)

****

I haven't always been a fishing fan. When I was a kid, I've gone fishing many times and I didn't get excited about it.

That was until around four years ago when I worked with Hoang.

Hoang was this small guy at work who helped me heaps during my time as a test engineer. He's a small Vietnamese technician with a friendly easy going attitude to everything.

In between testing circuit boards, he would talk to me about fishing, fishing, fishing, chickies (our code name for porn) and then more fishing. We spent countless hours a day talking about fishing.

Every morning he'd sip coffee from his blue mug that had a marlin picture. He'd dream to me of catching a giant marlin one day.

Giant Marlin.

Marlin Marlin Marlin.

When you hang around someone long enough, you end up picking their interests, manners and habits. And maybe even their dreams.

I think its important to never lost track of your own dreams. It might put you in different territory to everyone else, but then thats why its called your dream, your goal.

Hoang's asked me many times to go north with him to catch Marlins.

I went south to catch salmon.

*****

we organised this trip. we dealt with all the drama. we did the hard mile.
how come the one who least deserves it, gets it always?

Life is horribly cruel sometimes.

Especially when the bad guy gets the prize.

Most often, the one who's doing it right, who's sacrificing and doing it hard, goes un-rewarded.

When I saw the sad look in her eyes I badly wanted to catch a salmon.

She wanted to be with someone who she can be proud of, not one who was making sure everyone was alright.

Space between us

Everytime I use the elevator at work its always so quiet inside. It’s like the box of silence or something.

One would think that if you get ten or so people in there, a few would strike a conversation and you'd get some chatter going on. But you don't! In fact, the elevator has the opposite effect. If a couple of workmates are talking outside and they hop inside the elevator, they would soon stop talking and stare into elevator level indicator like everyone else. In silence!

When I was a kid and I spoke to my parents in a crowded elevator they wouldn't answer me. It’s as if I didn't exist. Its as if some voodoo magic worked inside the metal box and only when you step out will it be dispelled.

In the odd occasion that I do get someone talking in the elevator, I get quite annoyed and pestered by their talking. Hello? I'm not interested in what you're putting in your caldereta! I can hear everything you're saying! I wonder how some people can be so thick skinned.

Must have been cows in there past life or something.

When one speaks of personal space one would think this.

Personal space is in fact a region that surrounds your body. Like an air bubble that you carry around with you. Its your claimed territory with a specific radius and it determines your relation to others. If someone in fact breaches his or her allowable space you subconsciously realise that something is wrong and you instinctively prepare for it. Naturally, welcomed intrusions are okay, but when strangers start space invading, negative emotions are thrown in the mix.

Now there are four different kind of spaces (see the stolen picture from Wikipedia)

There’s public space. This is a nice big distance that we'd like to put ourselves in when we are speaking to a group of people. Anything less than this and we'd feel like we were shouting at someone too closely.

Inside this is the social space which extends from about one to three metres away from you. That’s about the kind of distance you'd want to keep your boss at when talking to them work. Any closer and they'd be intruding your personal space that can lead to some a messy sexual harassment case.

If someone is standing in your personal space, you can still exercise some tolerance for it, but you're definitely aware of his or her presence. In the elevator scenario, although you're all staring at the indicator incrementing with the elevator ascent, you get a burning sensation that someone's watching you. So you remain quiet and composed.

What you sense is probably not just the elevator surveillance, but the other guy next to you who's also sensing that you've invaded his personal space.

Now the intimate space is pretty damn close. Its also the bad-breath strike zone. Intrusion in this zone induces physiological changes like raise in heart rate and start of an adrenaline reaction. To have someone that close means you're either being naughty and kinky with them :P or your physically abusing each other in a fight ;(

The funny thing is that these spaces are culturally defined. In western countries personal spaces are quite wide. That’s probably why their cars are so big. Asian countries on the other hand - like getting REALLY personal - borderlining intimate. And everyone is okay with that!

That’s why you probably won't find too many westerners comfortably riding jeepneys.
This spacial awareness probably explains why two guys using a public toilet will always choose the opposite ends of a urinal. And why all the window seats in a bus get occupied first before strangers start sitting next to each other. We want our personal spaces free of weirdos and strangers.

It also explains why I got irritated when I was in a train ride in Hong Kong. This guy stood so close I could taste his char siew lunch from his breath.

Yuck. It was salty.

Practice makes perfect

Thinking about the things I've done to woo a girl, I think I've earned most of my brownie points not because I did something awesomely amazing. In fact, I think amazing is an antonym for Will.

I think I scored points because I tried so hard its somewhat.... adorable.

Kinda like a puppy trying to carry a giant bone then tripping over.

********

Need more practice I reckon.
Cringing shouldn't happen when serenading.

Three on Three

With Valentines just around the corner, I've decided to make a post on love. Not love in a emo-rollercoaster-soul-searching kind of way, but my love for things that ‘complete me’ as much as Jerry did for Dorothy. These are just three things that I adore.

Without these, my life would be like a box of chocolates, an empty one.

KFC with Rice
This year also saw the beginning of my long distance relationship with Mr Colonel Sanders.

Due to indulgence during the Christmas break, several pairs of pants and shorts have lost buttons - unable to hold my expanding gut :(

Drastic times calls for drastic measures.

So I've decided to skip fast food until my birthday in June. Its a hard path to follow, especially when I’m so used to munching on big macs and cheeseburgers strategically located 3 minutes away.

Now I try and find comfort in nectarines, plums and rockmelons.

But when I pass a familiar red and white striped restaurant, my nostrils torment me with the delicious smell of chicken pressured cooked in 12 secret herbs and spices. Ooooohh. I can imagine it now smothered with gravy, nestled on a bed of rice.

While I *heart* KFC from afar until June, KFC, know that you'll always have a special place in my heart.


World Wide Web
I think I spend about 6 hours a day in front of the computer. That’s a lot considering I’m only getting about 5 hours sleep a night (seriously not good).

If I spent that much time in front of Microsoft Word, I'd seriously start having impure thoughts of the Microsoft Paper clip. Thankfully I have web access to keep me sane. With Internet, I can access news and stories which I spend hours on-end reading.

Today I was reading about the Bugatti that was featured in Top Gear last night. What a monster.

Without the Internet, I wouldn't have a blog. My blog has allows me express myself and at the same time enjoy the colourful lives of people all around the world. Kinda like "Big Brother" and their diary room, only there’s no eviction, million dollar prize or surprise intruders.

The other reasons why I love Internet - Mp3, ebay, DivX and of course, pR0n. Without these I think the Internet wouldnt' have thrived so well.

I *heart* Internet

Final Fantasy 12
I've been having wet dreams about this game for ages now. The Japanese version was released March 06 and US version October 06. That’s a lotta months drooling at screenshots from gaming sites, wishing and hoping that the Australian version be out soon.

I am a big, big, BIG fan of the final fantasy series. I've played through most of the Final Fantasy games and enjoyed them all. I only missed FF-XI because that required a monthly subscription and friends to play with online. Friends?! BOH!

This next big instalment - FF12 is gonna be so good - I would sell my own grandma, throw in my own kidneys just to play the game.

Maybe it’s the wonderful story, enjoyable gameplay,outstanding music and memorable characters which draw me so passionately to this franchise.

Or maybe it's my obsession with Japanese girls in cosplay.

In any case, I *heart* Final Fantasy
And yes, Yuna, lets get married.

Seven Different Kinds of Smoke

The following bursts of text were inspired by the movie You, Me and Dupree. It wasn't a particularly outstanding movie. It wasn't that funny nor was it very romantic. But what the movie did do was conjure random themed thoughts in my head.

Why didn't you tell me you wrote poetry?
I dunno, maybe 'cause of fear that you'd call me gay

Steve (obviously not his real name!) left our work place after eight years of service. During his farewell shin-bag the boss gave a short speech including the trials and tribulations of young Steve. A story that caught my attention was when Steve requested to take a short course on literature.
This was during the time the boss suggested everyone do something completely different to stretch their mind and mix their creative juices. And so Steve selected literature. Everyone laughed at how funny it would be if Steve wrote novels of love and romance – an image you’d not associate with his balding head and weightlifter figure.

What you did in the bathroom last night was disgusting
I know I know. I'm never eating Buffalo wings again

The problem with public toilets is that most people use it only during emergencies. And I hate it how they make it known that it was an emergency.

Brown stains, walls, dripping.
Horrible. *shiver*

I got news for you, Dupree. You're not that lovable

I’ve come to expect that not everyone can be satisfied. Not everyone will find my blog funny or amusing! That’s fine. I wasn’t writing this for you anyways! Lazy bastard! Write your own blog!
For those who somewhat enjoy me blog – thanks for dropping by :P

I absolutely insist in enjoying life

An enjoyable life must be a short life. A prolonged life must be a dull one. I think this is the undeniable law that governs the balance between life and enjoyment. It can only be broken with the invention of healthy Big Macs.

So he beat you with a candlestick. I bet it happens all the time

I’ve always thought of myself as a video game guru. I’ve spent countless hours in front of the PC and PS2. Surely I'm an expert by now!
Yet after playing Tony’s Wii – I discovered I totally sucked at playing Wii tennis.
I think it’s because I’m crap with racket sports – not because I’m bad with video games. That has to be it.
Nothing like someone completely trashing you on something you thought you were really good at to send you back to earth.

(Talking about Vasectomy) Its also 100% permanent.
No. Its reversible 70% of the time

You’re faced with a problem and you have to make a choice. You make a decision because you believe that’s the best solution at that time. You make your choice and you go your merry way.

Then along comes someone who says “oh – you did that? Maybe you should have done this this and this…” Fair enough. I was misinformed.

But when they add, “You should have told me, I would have advised you better!” or
"you should have come to me, I know better.." It brings blood to a boil.

I can't see Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to "Funky Cold Medina"
I can

When I was working for an engineering firm, the company was made up of mostly 50 year old men. They were all very knowledgeable in their respective fields and I admired them for that. But what I did find disturbing was their attitude to women.

Every time a woman passes by our desks they would hoot and jeer like frat boys.They would whistle and make funny body movements similar to the dance steps of Kylie Minogue's Locomotion. I thought it was very offensive...!

Simply because the women were old enough to be my mom!!

It’s kinda similar to finding your dad’s porn collection. It's simply disturbing! Different strokes for different folks.

I’m not dying. I’m just getting married!

I asked my folks if they've always been like that – irritable and nagging, before they were married. It was a unanimous no.
‘He used to be a lot sweeter before we were married. Look at him now. He farts all the time, snores and does weird things.’ Living and coping with each other’s shortcoming. It must be a humongously enormous force that makes people want to get married. I’m still not sure what that force is, but I think it makes you fart.