Drive Home

Don't get us wrong.

We don't mind driving.

But a topic which struck a chord during one of our regular MSG (Men Support Group) dinners was the drive home.

You see, its quite common for the guy in a relationship to drive the girl around. Has nothing to do with us guys not wanting to be seen in the passenger seat of a girly-girl car.

Or that we don't trust your driving.

It's about us wanting you to just relax, sit and enjoy and let us worry about the traffic, parking, fuel and rage associate with driving (this doesn't work with my girl, because I constantly nag her for directions).

But one thing that did bother my support group friends (and something that bothered me before) was our girls refusing us go home early.

Here's what I mean.

Its a weekday, guy picks up girl at her workplace, they go out to dinner, they both have a good time. Around 10pm, he drives out of his way to drop her off. When when he gives her the goodnight kiss - she gives the sad puppy dog pout for leaving her there.

*pout *pout *don't leave me *pout *pout

!!!!?!!?!!!!

So he does the 'right' thing and stay awhile. They talk, watch TV and spend more quality time together. And only when she starts yawning, will it be okay for him to go home.

When its already midnight.

So the guy in the story now needs to drive home, tired and just wanting to get to bed. And its often too tempting to get back home quickly by giving the car a bit more juice than needed.

This happened to me a few times and I was really quite surprised how many of my guy friends go through with this. They were like "ZOMG I go through the exact same thing!!!! Do you get McDonald's drive-thru too?"

We realised that if it was the other way around, in that our girlfriend dropped us home, we'd be wanting them driving home before the sun went down.

We wouldn't want them staying and driving so late because we know there's heaps of tired and crazy drivers then.

Maybe She's Into You

A friend of mine called because he wanted to talk.

First thought - a guy calling a guy.  

To talk.

This is weird. 

Alarm bells rang in my head.  Code red alert!  

Maybe he's decided to bat for the same team and he's making his moves on me!! Yikes!!  

Or maybe he just wants to talk.

'Sure, lets meet up' I awkwardly replied.  So we met up after work at a nearby park.  I made sure it was a public place.  The thought of him beating me up and taking my wallet did cross my mind.

Thankfully that wasn't the case.  

Its a simple matter of him falling head over heels for a girl.   He wanted to talk and get some expert advice. 

"Ha-ha! You've come to the right place my friend!"

I couldn't help but smile.  Such a happy time for my friend :)

To cut the long story short (and spare you the juicy details), he's fallen for a girl and he's overwhelmed by intricacies and the complication that is women.  I sympathise with him because I know when you meet that special someone, its both a wonderful and frightening experience.

Wonderful in that she makes you warm and fuzzy and happy inside. Frightening because suddenly your on stage and all eyes are on you. And you will desperately try to make this warm fuzzy feeling last by not fumbling and end up losing her.   

And of course my friend was worried.  He hasn't been with a lot of girls and he's not sure if she was even interested!

Though I haven't been with a lot of girls either, I have SEEN A LOT of romcoms and Korean dramas, so I was pretty confident in giving him expert girl relations advice.  

To get a feel if she's into you, I suggest the following:

1) Reconnaissance 

A good tactician will always know the field before the battle.  Although stalking is illegal, its only illegal if you get caught.  So try to be careful.  

If you think this is a bit too risky, perhaps seek her out in them social Internet sites like MyFacester. Find out what she likes, her hobbies, her favourite food.  Maybe she likes the same things you do.  Maybe she doesn't.   But unless you get some background information, you will have no where to begin.

2) Multiple birthday disorder

Get to know her better by inviting her and her friends to your birthday party.  

The group environment makes it easy to socialise And because its your birthday, she has to be extra nice to you (birthday kisses perhaps?).  

It doesn't matter if you've already had your birthday.  Just say you're having a second or fourth birthday this year.  

If not birthday, make up another occasion, like a promotion or the cat's anniversary or the arrival of your first google adsense cheque.

3) Borrow some Butter

Get to know her by by borrowing something from her.  

It would be best if you borrowed something personal like her favourite book or music album.  If that fails, try borrowing something you genuinely need like a shovel, spanner, road map, cookbook, pan, blender, towels, soap, underwear.   Okay, maybe not her underwear.  

But remember to take good care of her property!

  

You can use this as ransom in the future (aka Plan B).

4) Friendly coincidence

Spend lots and lots and lots and lots of time with her friends.  

This has multiple benefits.  You'll get to know alot about her because I'm sure her friends are more than willing to spill the beans on her.  Having them on your side may also benefit you in future endeavours, so make sure you spoil them as well!  

But most importantly, if you hang out with her friends long enough, you're bound to bump into her, eventually!  So its like a win-win situation for you. 

Just be careful that you don't get swallowed into the "friends" zone. 

5) Read the signs

The most important tip I can give is learn to read body language.  

Don't make silly girly mistakes of over analysing what was written on Facebook or the blog page. 

What's most important is seeing them in person and getting that first hand impression on how they dig you.  

There are heaps and heaps of articles on the Internet about body language.  

What does it mean when she twirls her hair or when she stands this way or bite her lip or pick her nose or laugh this way.  She can communicate quite a lot without having to utter a word.  

Once you can read body language, everything about how she feels about you becomes quite obvious.  Does she stare at her french manicure when conversing? Or do her eyes twinkle with delight when she sees you.

And that's it!  Five tips to check if she's into you.  :)

Now go and check out this movie

He’s Just Not That Into You
Only at the Movies! Now Showing
http://www.facebook.com/roadshow-films-au

PS - I dedicate the cat pics to the cat stuck inside my girlfriend's stomach. She didn't eat a cat, but her stomach sounds like one.

Four Weddings and a Will

My brother finally proposed! YAY!!!

And lucky for him that his girlfriend said yes.
About time I think! hehehe.

Im really happy for them. They've been together for yonkers and have been through quite a bit.

I'm glad that they're moving on to the next stage in their relationship.

And I guess thats the natural progression of things. Boy meets girl (or vice versa), they fall in love, they get married and live happily ever after .... or until the time they have kids.

Its like weddings left right and centre for me right now.

No thanks to Hollywood either.
That puts the wedding tally to four now. Six if I include weddings I'm invited to overseas (anyone wanna sponsore me to go to texas? :) )

Not that I'm excited to go to another wedding receptions that is.

I've been to about a hundred wedding reception actually.
Im not kidding.
I was banquet waiter for about three years(maybe four?) And we'd have lotsa weddings every weekend. I've seen it all. Small, big, medium, repeat weddings. (Hmm maybe I should be a wedding planner?)

Its a western hotel so most receptions were obviously western type.

If I could generalise, I would say Italian weddings are the craziest. Heaps of food and almost always extravagant. Asian weddings are funny - we always run out of orange juice on these weddings. Aussie weddings tend to be just a big party. Kinda like a high school ball or prom night, only with older people (acting like teenagers).

I remember one wedding, they decided to have lots of sparklers before the bride and groom walked in. Great idea, except they forgot to deactivate the fire alarm.

Probably the sweetest thing I've seen was when the lead singer for a Perth band got married. He got up on stage and sang a song he wrote for the bride. He sang so well, it sent chills down my spine. Think Creed singing heartfelt lovesong.

But with the many receptions I've worked on, the speeches part always had me puzzled.
I noticed they almost always sounded like they were saying goodbye.

I mean, theres the customary 'welcome to the family' part and the anecdotes about the couple. But there's always this underlying 'goodbye' sounding tone.

Only after my sister's wedding did it finally make sense.

Its goodbye because you will be seeing them less and less.

Its goodbye to the person you once knew. Because someone else has officially become more important in their life.
Its sad, but its a good kind of sad.

If that makes sense.

Secrets

Rewind
We were 250km north of Manila, 1500 meters above sea level. It was 2am in Baguio city.
We were stumbling drunk when we got out of the army barracks where we were staying. We needed some fresh air.
Who would have thought Red horse, bubblegum and watermelon lambanog would make for a very potent mix.

That was the night we saw Aubrey.

My companion looked at me.
"saatin lang `to `kay?" [this stays between us okay?']
I nodded.

"How was your cousin's the buck's night"
"It was alright.."
"And.."
"And... what?"
"Details!!!"
*chuckle* "Hehehe. I can't tell.. what happens in a buck's night stays in a buck's night"

I knew it was unfair to snob my girlfriend of the fruity juicy things that happened on my cousin's bucks (stag) night.

But I was just toying with her.

I think its cute when she gets all curious and all.

My cousin's buck night was on a boat. What a prissy way I hold beer.

But honestly, there's nothing really spectacular about that night.

Just the usual debauchery you'd expect when you gather two dozen, twenty-thirty something males add ample alcohol and mix in two half (?) naked blondes.

You can check the videos if you want.

But on that note, I was wondering where couples draw the line on things they tell their partners.

You see, I got an email from a friend. It read,
"dun go telling everyone... keep it down low..."

And suddenly I'm thinking, here's a situation where two different forms of trust (trust with a very close friend and trust with my lovely partner) are coming into conflict.

Cos I love my friends.

And I love my girlfriend.

But is one trust more important than the other?

The river cruise has a throw overboard policy on guys wearing Borat's swimsuit

Let's say hypothetically, I may have done something.
And I made a pact with a friend not to tell anyone.

So as far as everyone in this world is concerned, nothing happened. Well.. not everyone. My friend and I (maybe someone else if they remember) know otherwise.

And if my partner should happen to learn of the things that happened.... well.... it could potentially change things.

Potentially.

So, I'm guessing I should take the 'what she doesn't know won't kill her' approach.

"Bro's before ho's" as put crudely by some guys.

But then once you start hiding things, you're not being honest anymore and that, I know, is a dangerous path to if you want a long, loving, lasting relationship.

Where is that thumb going?

And so my brain goes to fried overdrive.

I need a beer.

And to hold it properly as well.

Our days

The places we visit together,
the people we meet together,

the days we are together,

Are ours.

Big Two

Were sitting around the table playing Big 2.

Three guys and the new girlfriend.

The girlfriend is quite at home with us three. She smiles and jokes and fills up our honey coated peanut tray when needed.

And she's really good! She's won the last three games. Which is freaky considering she's only learnt how to play four months ago.

Then one of the guys gives out a loud belch.

Bluaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrpp

It was a good burp.

It had a deep bass which reverberated quite nicely from the oesophagus and oral cavity. His mouth focused it well with a good play of both lips and tongue. The duration was not too short but not too long. And the finish was mildly 'wet' but was kept to a minimal.

I gave it a 7/10.

And it was of course, quite gross.

I think the worse part was the digested chilly pepper squid and apple cider after-smell that followed.

(Being impressed by the burp doesn't mean I approve of the habit.. or after smell)

The girlfriend looked at him and screamed

'eww!! that's gross!!', then hitting his arm.

He chucked.

'say excuse me!'

'no! why do I need to say excuse me when you've said it for me' he sniggered.

'because that was rude and gross'

'I don't need to say excuse me...'he murmured

They stared at each other.

The mini discourse ended there.

He finished it off with a I can do anything I want - don't tell me what to do biiaaatchh' face .

And she with a "I'm so embarrassed to be associated with this pig' you look on her face.'

I cleared my throat and looked at my last two cards.

Three of spades and a jack of diamonds.

.

Movers

Moved In

"What is it like now that you've moved together?"

I was expecting 'yeah, it’s good. We get to do all sorts of things' or something along those lines. Instead, she said,

"Hmm.. We don’t' talk that much any more.."

And her boyfriend continued with

"yeah, we pretty much do our own thing. She watches her shows and I watch my things.."

Not exactly the answer I was expecting. I would think, once you've moved in, then you'd do more things together. That's the purpose of moving in right? To get closer with each other.

Instead, I got a feeling they formed their own mini worlds where she does her things and he does his.

Your things and my things. Your side and my side.

Moving Out

My sister and family are moving to Sydney.

Its great news coz my bro-in-law is movin' on up the corporate ladder of one of the big four (or is it five) accounting firms.

It will be sad to see my sister and my nephews go though. The two little runts are growing up so fast already.

But it won’t be so bad. They promised to visit often (or maybe I visit them?! :P) But by gosh! Rent in Sydney is farking ridiculous! It’s much cheaper for me to buy two Nintendo Wii's per week!

Moved

I think there’s something wrong with me.

I was watching the Simpson’s movie and in the part where Homer is watching Marge's video,
a big lump formed in my throat and I found it really really really hard to swallow.

Damn that song!

Same thing happens every time I watch the end of Pixar's Cars.

When Lightning McQueen gives up the Piston Cup to help 'the King' finish up the race.

I've seen it thousands and thousands of times, but I always get moved by this scene.

'Ka-chow'.

Romance and Chivalry

I missed the joke.
I attended a professional development course and most of its attendants were female managers (eheemm... and a few cute clerks). During one of the group activities, the question was asked:

'If the sales for a new perfume range set for Christmas was delayed, what could you do?'

Everyone was coming up with things like talking to upper management or expediting manufacture or changing suppliers. I answered

'how about you market it for valentines day instead?'

Everyone cracked up. I dunno what was funny.

"Hmm.. there's ten or so women here and you're the only one that came up with that idea Will. You must be quite a romantic."

I chuckled, "hehehe, i dunno, you have to ask my girlfriend".

I dunno where I read it from, I think from this blog, but there's was a post about what men should do when the girl they're with get overly drunk.

What I mean by overly drunk is when they've had a lot to drink, get hyper for a bit, then eventually pass out.

Should you take care of them? or take advantage of situation?

I love this response:
"when you're with a girl who's drunk, then that's the perfect time to exercise chivalry"

I totally agree.

Its a moment to have her peacefully sleep in your arms. It feels quite nice to take care of them. Tucking them in, making sure they're warm. Then wiping the dribble off their lips and watch them snore the night away.

Compounded Interest

Recently, I've been trying to get myself into things that interest my girlfriend.

I thought, wouldn't it be nice if we could have healthy discussions about .

What a blow out that turned into!

In fact, I think I even made things worse.

:(

What ended up happening was I talked about things that I didn't really know much about. Plus I didn't have anything to back things up that I recently discovered.

To make it worse, I reacted in a way that was childish and a touch arrogant. Of course if its from the internet then its gotta be true!!

Hmm not good.

I honestly just wanted to stir an intellectual conversation.

What I failed to realise was that each one of us has a realm of specialty and navigating through that should be done carefully.

Kinda like me telling Michael Jordan not to do dunks because "I read from Hoops magazine that "jump shots allow for more opportunities and lower risks... '

I can imagine Mike giving me this "WTF?!" look already.

Then he'd probably head butt me with his ultra shinny bald head, cut himself and send me to court ,I go to jail, I meet up with Paris Hilton in the after prison party, gets mistaken as her Spanish lover, kidnapped by a psychopathic fan and is tortured to death in a gimp suit.

.
.
.

Okay maybe that is a bit far fetched.
But it could happen.

My point is, the intention was good, the execution was royally messed up.

Live and learn I guess.

Beach Mosaic

Blind Date (Part 2 of 3)

The 4WD parked at the side of the road. The street was lined with houses all fronting solid iron gates. The dim orange streetlights revealed a few other cars parked by the side of the road, but the street was mostly deserted.

My cousin whispered something to Anne before she disembarked. It must have been a private joke because she giggled on her way out. My cousin and I just sat there in silence listening to the murmur of the engine. He seemed pretty happy, grinning by himself.

Anne went to a gate and pressed a button. I didn’t hear a bell, but something startled the dogs behind the forbidding gate. Their barks echoing with other dogs down the street.

A few moments later a smaller door appeared on the metal gate and a girl stepped out.

She was wearing a tight black top and jeans. Her hair wavy and left untied. She gave Anne a quick hug before both made their way to the car.

"Hi!" she smiled warmly as she jumped on the 4WD. She took the seat next to mine.
"Hi!’ I smiled back'

So this is Kat.

Hmm.
I see.
There and then.
I knew.

She’s not my type.

'Uyy Kamusta ka na?! (Hey, how you've been?)" Kat cheered to my cousin in the front seat.

Kat looked excited and happy to be out. It seemed that Kat, my cousin and Anne haven't seen each other for a long time. They reminisced about college days and caught up on gossip.

I didn't say much. I didn’t know what or who they were talking about. All I could do was listen in on the conversation and smile pretentiously.

We arrived at a little restaurant-bar in the corner of a city block. There were posters outside of the band we were going to see.

The restaurant had a very browny-orange rusty theme going on. Orange walls with mocha brown leather seats. There were many small tables for two in the middle. Larger booths by the walls.

We were seated in a diner-style booth with Kat sitting next to me and my cousin and partner sitting in front. Our booth was next to the big window pane overlooking the city street. We were the furthest from the stage but still had a good view.

I remember feeling over dressed for the occasion. Everyone was wearing jeans and I was wearing brown pants. They had sneakers to my brown leather shoes and T-shirts to my ironed crisp and blindingly white shirt. I felt more awkward now because it was much brighter in the restaurant.

But with the better lighting, gave me better glances of Kat.

She seems friendly enough. She’s very comfortable with my cousin and Anne. And she’s kinda attractive... I think… It’s just that she was VERY different from the photo.

All those pimples weren’t in the picture.

Then again the picture was two years old. And it was in black and white... and its brightness adjusted to make it a very white photo. I thought it was just fading. Maybe the photo was purposely faded?

But even in the photo. There were no sparks or anything like that when I saw Kat.
I thought maybe if I saw this person, in person, then maybe something would happen.

But nothing did.

The band started. A thirty something singer sang jazzy love songs accompanied by guitar, bass, keyboard and drums. She sounded great. And looked great too. In fact I was more interested in her that the person next to me. Blame it on singer’s thick red lipstick and saucy singing.

During the first set break we ordered drinks and we all talked briefly. I finally got to do my part spoke to Kat.

"yes.. there are lots of kangaroos in Australia, I actually catch one to work.."

I asked her what kind of music she liked. She said Incubus, Incubus, Incubus. Incubus is her life.

Hmmm great, an emo.
But it dawned to me that my cousin was passionate about Incubus too.
Maybe that’s why my cousin speaks with so much animation when he talks about Kat.

Building a Mystery

How come you're not talking to me?
Because I’m being mysterious
What d'you mean?
If I don't tell you what I’m thinking, doesn't that make me mysterious?
At this point she starts laughing until her stomach muscles started hurting

I don't know why I even bother. I know that understanding women is impossible. Actually it’s probably a myth. A

A woman that makes sense is probably a man.

He's so hot
Huh? Why? What’s so hot about him?
Ooohh, his voice, his eyes.. his eyes. So sexy
What’s so sexy about them?
(seductively) I dunno.. Its so deep.. So mysterious.
... I can be mysterious.
At this point she bursts out laughing and starts rolling on the floor. She was laughing so much she started farting in rhythm with her chuckles.

Okay, maybe she didn’t' fart, but she did laugh quite a bit.

I guess the thought of me being mysterious can be quite funny. But I know it hasn't always been that way.

You're unpredictable and you fascinate her a lot. You fascinate me as well!

I quote from a past e-mail.

When you're mysterious, you're attractive.

Enigmatic.

When there's something contradictory and puzzling about you, that provokes a challenge. It makes people want to learn more about you. They want to figure who you are, how you think.

And chipping away those mysteries can be quite rewarding.

So what happens when the mystery is gone? When you've finally solved that last puzzle and have gotten to 'know each other'.

When opening up a birthday or Christmas gift, there's that mystery and surprise when everything is still wrapped up. You start opening it and you struggle with the ribbons and you rip through the layers of paper and the sticky tape that 's held the wrapping together.

And when you finally discover what you've been given....

It may be the very thing you've always wanted. Or it may be a dud just wrapped up in a lot of fancyness.

When you're honest and trustworthy, you become the exact opposite of mysterious. You're always available, you're always there and you give yourself away.

I've given myself away.

I’ve served myself whole, rather than being tiny chunklets on a tasting platter.

And that can be quite overwhelming if you’re not hungry.

Everyone else around me has his or her own agendas. Only a few are unclouded and sure to.
But me? I’m always there. As reliable, dependable and un-mysterious as ever.

Sarah McLachlan sings,

You’re so beautiful, with an edge and a charm
but so careful, when I'm in your arms

Building a Mystery is an awesome song. I've been trying to to play it for ages now. Listening to its lyrics, I think I found where I want to be.

I like you in black.. kinda makes you mysterious

Freefall

I’ve posted it on the wall at work. Finally, after a year! A piece of paper that authenticates my capability of doing something completely unorthodox, crazy and extremely dangerous.

I think its quite amusing that its my boss who noticed it first. He chuckled 'I guess we're all a little crazy to work here'

I stuck the skydiving certificate exactly a year after I've done it. There’s no sentimental reasoning behind this. I've always wanted to post it up at work. Everyone else has diplomas, degrees and accreditations to various societies and institutions.

I have a certificate which stands for 'this guy is capable of doing insane stuff' . And I must admit, it fuels more conversations than a university degree or two would ever do.

"Was it scary?"

is pretty much the first question I always get asked.

The jump was scary. There’s no denying that. You can see it on my face in the video! My heart racing, hands sweaty, body odour of the tandem master. And no way did I anticipate it being that cold 14000 feet above ground. So yes, it was scary.

But I didn't think that was the scariest part. I’d put the dive in the same category I would for a roller coaster or the octopus ride in a theme park. You do it, its scary, thrilling, exciting and fun and then you go abouts your normal routine afterwards.

For me, what was scarier, are things I do for my girl :P

But honestly, I've always wanted to go skydiving. The same way I want a Mazda Rx-8. I wanted to do it, but its not in my ‘ things to do in the next 10 years’ list.

But there was an urgency for me to jump. My girlfriend was jumping - with or without me.

Never mind the stress and worry I drove my poor mom to when I told her of the jump. Never mind that at that time I had no money and I needed to sell things to afford it. Never mind that an asian guy died doing skydive with the same company just a few months before.

I took all of that, put it aside and told my girlfriend, 'Nope, you are not jumping alone'.

If she ever had to go through something terribly scary or outrageous or troubling in her life, I am going to be there by her side.

Just like the song, 'anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down,'

I would have forgotten about the skydive if it wasn’t' for events of last week that ended up the exact same way it did last year. It humoured me that most people have changed and that those that I wish had grown up a little, remain exactly the same.

This in turn reminded me of the worry, anxiousness and loneliness that plagued me the days counting down to my birthday. The days after the skydive, the most stressing time in my life.

Never did I think that I would be a heartbeat away from losing the one person I’d never want to lose.

My heart still races when I think of that day. I remember everything spiralling downwards in insane speeds.

And there was nothing there to catch the fall. Nothing.

That was scary.

Girlfriend Cheats, Tip and Tricks v0.2a

I'm collecting tips and tricks so I can submit this to GameFaqs. If you guys have additional tips and tricks let me know.

Immunity
Save yourself from the wrath of any girl by making a schedule of their monthly menstrual cycle. Pamper them on their 'special days' and your immunity is secured.

Alternate Ending
If you want to die in an unusual way, give your girlfriend a squeaky toy and a tub of jello and tell her that you've been seeing her best friend.

Unlimited credit
Retail therapy is a natural occurence for girls. It cannot be separated or removed. Asking them to give up shopping is like asking them to cut their arms off. But to stop the unsavoury flavour of credit card debts use the line "Sweety, I think you look HOT in that dress and I'd really want to buy it for you.... But I'm saving for our future together...'
You earn double brownie points for thinking about the future.

Super Boyfriend Difficulty Setting
Tired of the same monsters and bosses? Try a
harder difficulty level by unlocking the Super Boyfriend Challenge Mode. Simply bring a packet of condoms next time you visit her parents and drop it accidentally near her father or mother.

Brownie Point Trick
Things that you're expected to do as a boyfriend doesn't earn you brownie points. Example, picking her up or having lunch with her. But you can earn brownie points by making an excuse for not being able to do such tasks. For example - I can't pick you up coz i still have work. Then, at the last minute, negate your excuse with 'Hi, I couldn't pick you up before, but I'll work over time tomorrow so I can pick you up'. This earns you brownie points on a brownie pointless event.

Double Brownie Point Gift Trick
This is similar to the Brownie point trick. Disappoint then please. When giving a present first give her a crappy gift. She'll have to smile and thank you because its a gift from you, but deep inside she's very very disappointed. Then, give her the real present. She'll be so surprised that she's not getting the crappy present, that you'll automatically get double brownie points for whatever your gift is.

Space between us

Everytime I use the elevator at work its always so quiet inside. It’s like the box of silence or something.

One would think that if you get ten or so people in there, a few would strike a conversation and you'd get some chatter going on. But you don't! In fact, the elevator has the opposite effect. If a couple of workmates are talking outside and they hop inside the elevator, they would soon stop talking and stare into elevator level indicator like everyone else. In silence!

When I was a kid and I spoke to my parents in a crowded elevator they wouldn't answer me. It’s as if I didn't exist. Its as if some voodoo magic worked inside the metal box and only when you step out will it be dispelled.

In the odd occasion that I do get someone talking in the elevator, I get quite annoyed and pestered by their talking. Hello? I'm not interested in what you're putting in your caldereta! I can hear everything you're saying! I wonder how some people can be so thick skinned.

Must have been cows in there past life or something.

When one speaks of personal space one would think this.

Personal space is in fact a region that surrounds your body. Like an air bubble that you carry around with you. Its your claimed territory with a specific radius and it determines your relation to others. If someone in fact breaches his or her allowable space you subconsciously realise that something is wrong and you instinctively prepare for it. Naturally, welcomed intrusions are okay, but when strangers start space invading, negative emotions are thrown in the mix.

Now there are four different kind of spaces (see the stolen picture from Wikipedia)

There’s public space. This is a nice big distance that we'd like to put ourselves in when we are speaking to a group of people. Anything less than this and we'd feel like we were shouting at someone too closely.

Inside this is the social space which extends from about one to three metres away from you. That’s about the kind of distance you'd want to keep your boss at when talking to them work. Any closer and they'd be intruding your personal space that can lead to some a messy sexual harassment case.

If someone is standing in your personal space, you can still exercise some tolerance for it, but you're definitely aware of his or her presence. In the elevator scenario, although you're all staring at the indicator incrementing with the elevator ascent, you get a burning sensation that someone's watching you. So you remain quiet and composed.

What you sense is probably not just the elevator surveillance, but the other guy next to you who's also sensing that you've invaded his personal space.

Now the intimate space is pretty damn close. Its also the bad-breath strike zone. Intrusion in this zone induces physiological changes like raise in heart rate and start of an adrenaline reaction. To have someone that close means you're either being naughty and kinky with them :P or your physically abusing each other in a fight ;(

The funny thing is that these spaces are culturally defined. In western countries personal spaces are quite wide. That’s probably why their cars are so big. Asian countries on the other hand - like getting REALLY personal - borderlining intimate. And everyone is okay with that!

That’s why you probably won't find too many westerners comfortably riding jeepneys.
This spacial awareness probably explains why two guys using a public toilet will always choose the opposite ends of a urinal. And why all the window seats in a bus get occupied first before strangers start sitting next to each other. We want our personal spaces free of weirdos and strangers.

It also explains why I got irritated when I was in a train ride in Hong Kong. This guy stood so close I could taste his char siew lunch from his breath.

Yuck. It was salty.

Practice makes perfect

Thinking about the things I've done to woo a girl, I think I've earned most of my brownie points not because I did something awesomely amazing. In fact, I think amazing is an antonym for Will.

I think I scored points because I tried so hard its somewhat.... adorable.

Kinda like a puppy trying to carry a giant bone then tripping over.

********

Need more practice I reckon.
Cringing shouldn't happen when serenading.