Building a Mystery

How come you're not talking to me?
Because I’m being mysterious
What d'you mean?
If I don't tell you what I’m thinking, doesn't that make me mysterious?
At this point she starts laughing until her stomach muscles started hurting

I don't know why I even bother. I know that understanding women is impossible. Actually it’s probably a myth. A

A woman that makes sense is probably a man.

He's so hot
Huh? Why? What’s so hot about him?
Ooohh, his voice, his eyes.. his eyes. So sexy
What’s so sexy about them?
(seductively) I dunno.. Its so deep.. So mysterious.
... I can be mysterious.
At this point she bursts out laughing and starts rolling on the floor. She was laughing so much she started farting in rhythm with her chuckles.

Okay, maybe she didn’t' fart, but she did laugh quite a bit.

I guess the thought of me being mysterious can be quite funny. But I know it hasn't always been that way.

You're unpredictable and you fascinate her a lot. You fascinate me as well!

I quote from a past e-mail.

When you're mysterious, you're attractive.

Enigmatic.

When there's something contradictory and puzzling about you, that provokes a challenge. It makes people want to learn more about you. They want to figure who you are, how you think.

And chipping away those mysteries can be quite rewarding.

So what happens when the mystery is gone? When you've finally solved that last puzzle and have gotten to 'know each other'.

When opening up a birthday or Christmas gift, there's that mystery and surprise when everything is still wrapped up. You start opening it and you struggle with the ribbons and you rip through the layers of paper and the sticky tape that 's held the wrapping together.

And when you finally discover what you've been given....

It may be the very thing you've always wanted. Or it may be a dud just wrapped up in a lot of fancyness.

When you're honest and trustworthy, you become the exact opposite of mysterious. You're always available, you're always there and you give yourself away.

I've given myself away.

I’ve served myself whole, rather than being tiny chunklets on a tasting platter.

And that can be quite overwhelming if you’re not hungry.

Everyone else around me has his or her own agendas. Only a few are unclouded and sure to.
But me? I’m always there. As reliable, dependable and un-mysterious as ever.

Sarah McLachlan sings,

You’re so beautiful, with an edge and a charm
but so careful, when I'm in your arms

Building a Mystery is an awesome song. I've been trying to to play it for ages now. Listening to its lyrics, I think I found where I want to be.

I like you in black.. kinda makes you mysterious

Happy Feet

I'm so shocked.

"Don't push me, coz I'm close to the edge"

I saw the movie "Happy Feet" with the expectation that it was going to be another feel good kiddy movie like Disney's Cars or Toy Story or Ice Age.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Sure it had the elements of a kiddy movie - ultra cute characters, catchy tunes and lots of funny, comical moments (the visuals and the musical score in this movie is superb by the way).

But no way did I expect the movie to sparkle discussion about traditional versus modern day thinking.

I think the movie touched on the upbringing of disabled children. But I think they were talking about homosexuality, because they placed quite a bit of importance in conforming to norms of reproduction and traditional family structures.

Evangelic worshipers were prodded with "Lovelace" and his mindless followers. And the movie even threw shots at the Japanese whaling fleet!

I was just so shocked by the underlying message that I found it hard to enjoy the sugar coating of this thematically deep movie.

I wanted a simple movie with a nice fuzzy-wuzzy, warm bring home message. But Happy Feet ain't that kind of movie.

I think children who watched this movie will grow up as activists.

Freefall

I’ve posted it on the wall at work. Finally, after a year! A piece of paper that authenticates my capability of doing something completely unorthodox, crazy and extremely dangerous.

I think its quite amusing that its my boss who noticed it first. He chuckled 'I guess we're all a little crazy to work here'

I stuck the skydiving certificate exactly a year after I've done it. There’s no sentimental reasoning behind this. I've always wanted to post it up at work. Everyone else has diplomas, degrees and accreditations to various societies and institutions.

I have a certificate which stands for 'this guy is capable of doing insane stuff' . And I must admit, it fuels more conversations than a university degree or two would ever do.

"Was it scary?"

is pretty much the first question I always get asked.

The jump was scary. There’s no denying that. You can see it on my face in the video! My heart racing, hands sweaty, body odour of the tandem master. And no way did I anticipate it being that cold 14000 feet above ground. So yes, it was scary.

But I didn't think that was the scariest part. I’d put the dive in the same category I would for a roller coaster or the octopus ride in a theme park. You do it, its scary, thrilling, exciting and fun and then you go abouts your normal routine afterwards.

For me, what was scarier, are things I do for my girl :P

But honestly, I've always wanted to go skydiving. The same way I want a Mazda Rx-8. I wanted to do it, but its not in my ‘ things to do in the next 10 years’ list.

But there was an urgency for me to jump. My girlfriend was jumping - with or without me.

Never mind the stress and worry I drove my poor mom to when I told her of the jump. Never mind that at that time I had no money and I needed to sell things to afford it. Never mind that an asian guy died doing skydive with the same company just a few months before.

I took all of that, put it aside and told my girlfriend, 'Nope, you are not jumping alone'.

If she ever had to go through something terribly scary or outrageous or troubling in her life, I am going to be there by her side.

Just like the song, 'anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down,'

I would have forgotten about the skydive if it wasn’t' for events of last week that ended up the exact same way it did last year. It humoured me that most people have changed and that those that I wish had grown up a little, remain exactly the same.

This in turn reminded me of the worry, anxiousness and loneliness that plagued me the days counting down to my birthday. The days after the skydive, the most stressing time in my life.

Never did I think that I would be a heartbeat away from losing the one person I’d never want to lose.

My heart still races when I think of that day. I remember everything spiralling downwards in insane speeds.

And there was nothing there to catch the fall. Nothing.

That was scary.